Don't get me wrong...

I love my husband with every ounce of my being but my wedding wasn't exactly perfect. But I think that is hollywood's fault.

We see weddings in movies that have endless budgets and endless people to make it happen. I can't tell you how many emotional breakdowns there were before the wedding trying to get it ready. Even one in front of my future brother-in-law that was just way more than it should have been. But I'd had it with everyone telling me how they were going to decorate for my wedding. I wanted it my way and I was tired off my little tail feathers and wanted it over. That was the point where you wish you had just eloped.

But my husband told me many times that he knew that I wouldn't be happy if we eloped and he wanted me to be happy. But there was a small part of me that knew that I would be resentful if I didn't have a real wedding, even if the preacher said the wrong name.

I remember that once we locked eyes as I was walking down the aisle, we never took them off each other. There was no way that I could take my eyes off him because I knew that I just couldn't. Maybe if I can get the pictures from my mom, I'll put some up here. I only have a few that I shot before the wedding.

So tired...

So tired and so many things going through my mind. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it to tomorrow and my afternoon nap. Oh man am I looking forward to my Sunday afternoon nap.

Anyway to get to where I want to be and get off the complaining train there are just so many things running back through the head. And I can't remember what all those things were that I said I'd get around to the other day.

Oh...I remember.

I did not like my wedding cake. I did not like the icing. When I want cake with icing I want icing not that fluffy whipped crap that doesn't taste all sugary like icing. Its airy and gross. I want to get a sugar buzz when I eat cake. I didn't like the way it looked I really wanted to cry when I saw it. And when I asked for strawberry filling I meant a strawberry jam filling. Not actually strawberries sliced up in between the layers of cake.

love ya!

Out of the ordinary

I know that normally I don't post more than once a day but I just can't help it. Lately there have been far too many things on my mind and I just have to even if it means just simple one liners that I may or may not ever expand on. So here goes...

It really can't be that hard to serve healthy food in schools. I know that kids are gonna eat the stuff that isn't good for them but if they don't have a choice they may just eat what is good for them.

The only person keeping you down is yourself. Not the man or whatever other force you think is keeping you under their thumb.

How can you ever get the job experience if every job wants you to already have experience?

I'm trying to make an extra effort that's why I sent you the email, not because I want to get an edge over the other applicants. Oh wait that's what I'm doing, I don't expect anything special. I just want you to know that I really want a chance.

Good grief! Just give me a chance.

Don't get angry that the job doesn't get done when I'm trying to juggle too many things already. If it's your responsibility then you do it.

NO one will do what I do for what you currently pay me.

love ya!
it makes me feel a little lighter. thank you!

It's Wednesday...what more can I say?

It's Wednesday which mean it's not really half way through the week but it is. When you work on Saturdays you learn to treasure things that other people don't and you regret things too. Where on Thursday night you're getting ready to make plans for Friday night because you know you can stay out late, I'm lucky if I can make it all the way through the Mentalist without just giving in and crawling upstairs and into bed.



My weekends are split between Sunday like normal folk and Tuesday which does make Monday quite a drag. And where Thursdays are the longest day of the week I have two. There are no celebrations that it's Friday because for me it isn't.

We did get the closet door put up which makes me feel so much better. There's nothing worse than this big gaping hole inthe wall across from your bed and it should make it a little cooler in the bedroom.

Hearing a few things which makes me feel better but still not going to get my hopes up yet. Too much to lose...



love ya!

Antsy...

I've been a little antsy lately and I can't help it...I don't know why I'm the way that I am. I just get antsy...which has made it hard to do a lot in life. Maybe restless is a better word than antsy. I get bored frequently with what I'm doing and I want to change. I have flighty tendencies that cause me to not be able to finish projects without someone standing over me making me try to finish.

I'm surprised that I didn't change my major seventeen times when I was in college but I just couldn't stand to give up my history classes. I really couldn't give up fun books that made you think and forced you into something that might make you uncomfortable. And my English classes because it's totally awesome when you get to go to the bookstore and buy The Stinky Cheese Man for class and you get to carry it around campus.

I usually have a problem getting what I need done for work actually done.

love ya!

Taking a break...

I've decided that right now I have to take a mental break. I just can't stand it anymore trying to look for a job. I don't even get proper rejection all I get is no answer. I would kill to have an interview where I bumble through all the niceties and then get told that someone else got the job. I can't even get that.

It's killing a part of me. A lot of me. A lot of me deep down inside. And I can't get that part back ever.

love ya!

so tired

I'm so tired.

There is nothing else that I have to say.

love ya!