Today was a little bit better than yesterday but I can tell you that is was not much better. There was atleast smiling and laughing until they realized that they were laughing and then you could tell that they were all feeling guilty. It makes me sad to think that this is how the next few weeks are going to be. But then again it may actually be longer than a few weeks.
There aren't words to say what is on my mind and in my heart. My heart hurts because it just doesn't make sense. I know that it never makes sense but this time it just hits really close to home. Usually you don't have to deal with this personally but this time it was. When you know the family it makes all the difference in the world how you handle the emotions.
And Josie was right it does bring up all the old memories. They're the ones that you don't want to think about but all of a sudden they come flooding back and you can't do anything but be forced to deal with the new emotions and the old ones on top of that. I hate it.
I miss Thomas.
love ya!
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