Where I come from...

Where I come from seems like such an easier topic to put in music than to put into words however I will take the challenge and end it with a music vid if I find a good one.

I'm from a small town in Texas. It has never hurt my feelings when someone hands me a dirty old chainsaw, there is something ever so familiar and magical about the way a greasy grimy chain smells or the exhuast off of a two cycle engine.

I love the smell of hay and I don't mind sittin' on a haybale or in front of a good ole' bonfire. The smell of burning leaves on fall nights.

I still remember spending Saturday mornings walking on the catwalks at the auction barn and watching them move cattle from one pen to another, the smells, the sounds all of that is part of who I am. I love to spend time picking peas in the garden. I would rather sit on the ground with my hands in the dirt to plant flowers and pull weeds than do just about anything else.

My mimi was a library in an elementary school so just be prepared for there to be tons of books in my home. And trust me no matter how damaged they are they aren't going anywhere. I can promise that I've only thrown away two books in my entire life and that was because they had significant water damaged from an overflowed toilet. There was no way to salvage them and I lost a good coffee table book.

Books to me are precious an each one opens up a different world and a different set of emotions. One day I will finish writing a book and try to publish it. (I will let y'all know when that happens.)

I am messy by nature and my house will never make it into the pages of any magazine simply because I can't keep it clean. I try and try and usually just end up cleaning the same things over and over again and never moving onto anything else.

A walk in the pasture is good enough for me. Sitting on the banks of the tank feeding catfish inside a square of pvc pipe. I really am just a small town girl.

I'm not ever going to be a Jimmy Choo wearing city girl. That isn't for me. It never has been and I'm pretty sure that it never will be.

Those are the things that remind me of where I come from.

love ya!

A new chapter...

I am starting a new chapter in my life.

I know that my last post was written in a state of brokeness and despair but I have moved on from that place and to help facilitate this move I am hoping to complete this. I happened to stumble onto it from another blog on my phone the other morning and have spent a bit of time looking for it on my laptop only to throw 'September blog challenge' into a Google search and it be one of the top topics.

I really don't feel like getting into the details of that pit of despair  that I was in because I am trying to move on from there and need a positive start. That positive start will begin tomorrow morning when I wake my husband up and send him to work while I stay home. Now I know to most people that isn't a big deal but since the Wednesday after our wedding we have been getting up and going to work together, yes we worked together. That all ended Saturday. I am in the process of transitioning into teaching and need a few days to just decompress and relax before I start that job (also I am still waiting on HR to finish up all the paperwork to prove I'm not a crazy.). But I didn't want to go into this like I did student teaching where I had Labor Day off then started teaching five days a week, going into my job on Saturday and then working on Sundays at a part time job for twelve weeks straight. I ended up with multiple kidney stones and nearly got pneumonia.

I am looking at my living room and thinking about all the things that I need to do like finish painting and unloading boxes. Watch some more stuff off the DVR. Finish watching the first season of King of the Hill. Pay some bills but that makes my stomach turn right now and I'm not sure where all the bills are located at this point.

I'm gonna try to start going through some things in my bonus room so that I can see progress basically meaning throwing stuff away. That is how I feel progress throwing things away.

The reason for the blogging challenge is that I need to push myself to start writing again. There are files and notebooks languishing away, calling me back to them. I also have dozen of paperback and hardback children that are calling to me and there just aren't enough hours in the day to take care of all of them.

I may get a head start on looking at tomorrow's topic.

love ya!

I made a mistake...

I made a mistake.

I took a new job and I don't feel like it's the right one.

I shouldn't have done it.

I really shouldn't have done it.

I haven't even signed a contract and I already regret saying yes.

It was a stupid mistake that I made without thinking.

I was desperate.

Desperation makes for bad decisions.

I think that it was a truly bad decision.

I don't know what to do.

Happy Friday!

I have to admit that it feels good to know that today is Friday. There are a few things that I had meant to accomplish this week and well that just fell through.  That however is nothing unusual for me.

I like lists. I really like to make lists. It makes me feel that I have accomplished things. Especially at work. I like to know what I need to accomplish in a certain amount of time. Like when my boss is gone he will usually leave us a list of things that each person needs to accomplish. In those cases it also helps us to keep each other in line. If you know what someone else needs to get done then you can encourage them when they are not doing anything.

I spend more time making lists to try and get myself to accomplish things but they don't always help. And it doesn't help that it seems like all of a sudden my spell check doesn't seem to work on anything.

I'm getting really sick of people complaining about how much student debt they have. In my very bold opinion this really seems to be a case of parents not telling their children no. If you can't afford to go to a school without spending a fortune that you obviously don't have maybe you should rethink what you are planning to do. I graduated with $14,500 in student loan debt on three different loans and two different interest rates. I am half way through my repayment period and have less than $600 left to pay on them. In only 32 payments I have paid almost $14,000 back and I don't complain about it. During that time I've also paid off 29 of 60 payments on a car and put a down payment on a house and you know what, I'm still working in a job where I punch the clock.

I don't have the cushy corner office that most people are expecting when they graduate because they've picked a career based on those highly inflated starting salary lists. I've done a lot I never thought I'd do to make the rent like vacuum my boss's office or carry rocking chairs in and out of the building. I answer phones and answer mundane and stupid questions. You do what you have to do. I still haven't gotten the job that I wanted but I am working hard to accomplish that goal. I'm hoping that soon I can start posting pictures of my classroom, keep that in your thoughts if you want to.

Every once in awhile you have to make concessions about college and a job. Some times you have to put pride aside annd take a job

love ya!

Catching up

I've been trying to sit down all week and work on blogging but it just hasn't happened, mainly because it is hot and when I say hot I mean hot like frying an egg on the sidewalk kinda hot. I haven't even had a chance to look at what the weather is going to do for the rest of the week. I know that the last time I did see the weather there were seven days of triple digits and that is all I have to know. There really doesn't seem to be an end in sight and now there is Saharan dust in the air to top it off. I've had enough water that I'm surprised that I haven't floated away. It seems like it doesn't matter how much I have, I'm still thirsty and still hot all the time.

Things around here haven't been going anywhere mainly because at five o'clock I just want to get home as fast as I can to the sweet relief of air conditioning. I don't even want to go to the grocery store and probably won't do it until I run out of milk, bread and eggs, which wouldn't be bad but I only picked up milk the last time I was at the store because I had eggs and bread. So over a week and I'm down to less than a quarter of a loaf of bread and four eggs. Or I will go when I have to buy dog food, dishwasher detergent and stuff to make laundry soap. (Dog food will win out I'm pretty sure.) I say that because I can't feed my dog table scraps because well my poor sidewalk will pay for it. (If anyone knows how to keep a dog from pooping on the sidewalk let me know.)

I've gotten a few boxes cleaned out and hopefully will be getting a few more this week so that my brother can pack up some kitchen items for his first apartment. So really no pressure what so ever on the unpacking. I have some empty boxes on the porch but their integrity is not the best since they've been there for a few weeks and are covered in house paint. We did get the outside of our house painted which is awesome. We now have to go back and do some touchups and paint all the trim.

I can't keep caught up with anything and I mean anything. I'm doing my best just to read my email and check my texts. Or like today when I got slammed all of a sudden with a bunch of updates and what not on my phone and I know that some of them were from Sunday. It was bizarre and a bit scary, similar to what I experienced a few weeks ago when my email got hacked and there were about 75 bounce back emails that came all at once. Thankfully I have a ton of contacts that aren't any good any more, of course then I got a whole bunch of emails telling me that I was sending spam. It was mortifying and I'm trying to get over it.

Hopefully I can get my DVR cleaned out by the weekend so I could maybe watch something on tv when it is on. I am however spoiled to being able to fast forward through the commercials.

I was glad to see that Double Divas started a new season last night. It totally freaks my husband out when I watch it because of all the squealing.

Have to go see who is coming back on Masterchef.

love ya!

Painting...

I have finally put myself into the mode of painting. Right now the hall has one coat of paint and I am now in the process of putting on the first coat of paint in the living room.  It would be better if I weren't painting over panelling because rollers do not get down in the little groove. I have figured out that you go down each of those grooves with a paint brush first and do the top and bottom while you've got the brush and then roll the in between places.

I didn't take any before pictures mainly because I do not know the present location of my camera. I have however been able to empty a few boxes of books but that is slooow going right now. I've been spending quite a bit of time stalking some human resource pages for several different school districts and that is slooow going as well.

There have been so many things going through my mind that I don't even know where to start writing about. I havn't been the best at doing a lot these last few weeks but I am trying to make more of an effort at a lot of things. Been watching a lot of Star Trek Next Generation. It does keep me from watching one of the many mind numbing reality shows that plague the airwaves now. That has been one of the many topics of conversation at work and with family. I do want to admit that I'm not completely against reality shows I do partake in Hell's Kitchen and Master Chef and I have watched a little on the Big Brother front. I have given up on the Bachelor/Bachelorette, The Amazing Race and Survivor.

I am running into a problem with finding places to put things. Hopefully I can get one wall completely painted and get some shelving on the wall to put my knick knacks on. There are a lot of things that I have planned for the next weeks or so. I'm ready for fall so that I can work in the yard. In the morning I'm going to start cleaning out the front flowerbed so that I can put in some plants that my mom bought on the clearance rack at Lowe's. They are plants that need full shade and I think the front flowerbed is the only place that they will get that. There are a few paint cans that have to be moved that are from painting the outside of the house. We still have paint the trim and paint a few more places in the eaves and behind some hedges that need to be trimmed up as well. I am going to have to start moving some furniture to finish the painting. The biggest challenge will be painting behind the tv so that we can put up a shelf that my in-laws are giving us.

love ya!

Tasting...

My sense of taste has been all over the map the last couple of years and I don't like it or maybe I do.

When I was a child you couldn't get me to touch a casserole just because of the cream of mushroom soup in it. It didn't matter how much my mom tried to hide them in there I wouldn't eat it and well my little brothers are the same way. If a recipe calls for cream of mushroom soup my mom has to pick a different cream of soup to take the place. I though have taken to mushrooms lately to the point where I've actually ordered mushroom chicken at a restaurant.

It is to the point that there are very few places that I like to eat. I personally hate ordering something at a restaurant and then having to ask for it with out a whole bunch of things, the only exception being onions on hamburgers that just doesn't happen.

Lately it has been the smell of sauteed onions that has been getting my nose in a pinch. I really want to just buy an onion and saute it just for the smell and then maybe scramble an egg or two in the pan after I remove the onions.

love ya!