Been on an upswing...

I'm not one to admit that I have emotional problems but I do. There's no denying and there should be no shame in it but we live in a culture where if you aren't perfect then you are automatically seen as weak. I equate what happens to be as a seesaw. Remember as a child playing on the seesaw? When the other person would get off without any warning and you would be slammed to the ground? That is how my moods can change, one minute at the highest in a manic starting ten million projects and then all of a sudden down as low as you can go. There are very few times when the seesaw is level and when it has been there it feels terrible. That seems wrong that I feel terrible when it is level but that is because I don't know how to feel normal.

There are days when I sit on the couch and know that I need to get up and clean or eat dinner but I just can't. I feel like I am on an upswing and I hope that maybe I can control this one a little more than in the past, stretch the ride to the top out over a longer period of time.

The weather is killing me though. It has been cold then mediocre then miserable. My skin is dry and itchy. I'm getting the little bumps all over my shoulders and arms where my clothes rub and it is irritating. I hate washing my hair in this kind of weather and that has given me a spot on the nape of my neck that I have had multiple times when I don't get that part of my hair clean. It is not a matter of cleaning it is an issue of moisturizing. There are just a few places that you can't reach on your own.

love ya!