I've had this book since the summer of seventh or eighth grade. It was supposed to be one of the books that we read for Pre-AP classes but instead we read something different. What we read instead was The Pearl  (7th grade) and something that I no longer remember because the details are fuzzy at this point.

I'm a complete history buff but this book was painful for me to read. I'm not sure if you would throw it into the realm of historical fiction or more into it being a period piece. Which I question whether there is a difference between the two as I wrote that sentence. 

The book starts just prior to Ft. Sumter and ends towards the end or just after the war. It follows the story of Jethro and his family who live in the southern most portion of the north. The kind of place that you read about being torn apart by Northern sons going off to fight for the South and eventually finding themselves pointing a gun at a friend, neighbor or even worse their own family on the other side of the battlefield dressed in blue. 

The language of the book is what I found the most difficult to handle. The dialect was rough for me to read. After a few chapters I was able to read it easier but it still made it difficult because I couldn't hear it in my head. That may sound stupid but there's always a running movie in my head to go along with the book. Actually any book that I have a hard time visualizing is usually one that I have a hard time comprehending.

There is an innocence to the characters as they try to decipher what is right and wrong. Old wounds are brought to the surface at every turn of the novel. Things go from bad to worse after Jethro's brothers leave and his father suffers a heart attack. We seem to forget that the people who can hurt us the most are the ones we view as being most like us or even those closest to us. 

A beloved teacher answers the call to war ends up injured and nearly dying. A brother leaves the battlefield becoming a fugitive because he feels that life on the lam is better than losing his life in a cause he no longer believes in. 

The more I think about this the more I realize that this is what we are dealing with today. We latch onto causes and start fighting for them but what we don't realize is that these battles we join are actually part of the war. You should consider that this may not be one quick and done battle but just a skirmish along the way to a full on war. I know that I personally may latch onto a cause but quickly find that I shouldn't have, that I had no intention of being a part of this for the long haul. This is starting to feel a little preachy so I think I'm gonna shut it down for the night.

love ya!

The Basketball Diaries

I keep finding other books to read other than the ones on my list. That could also be because some of the books are still packed. I know more than anything  I should finish unpacking but that is another story for another time.

A couple months back by brother went to a garage sale and picked up a few book for twenty bucks. Okay so maybe a few books is an understatement it was enough to fill up the back of my mom's truck. So after he pulled what he wanted I got a chance to go through them and found a copy. It came out before the movie and by that I mean it has a movie tie in cover and even has an advertisement for the soundtrack.

Oh it was horrible to read. I felt that after time it was  just tedious to read. I had a hard time getting through it. I even picked up another book before I finished it.

Its one of those  books that you realize that the frantic and scattered nature of the prose mirrors the narrators state of mind. The book isn't one that I would recommend but it also wasn't the worst book that I've ever read.

There is lots of talk of basketball and drug use. Those really aren't things that I'm into and the story at times wasn't more than the ramblings of a teenager caught between two worlds.

Setup up like a diary there are months between some of the entries that add to the pace or some may say slow the pace of the novel. It does make it feel like a more realistic feel to a diary. One that reminds you that it was written by a teenager who has other things to do other than write about their feelings.

This is a book that I probably won't be reading again any time soon.

love ya!

Me Before You....

We have a routine when we're at Target. Usually someone has to pee so that's usually when I peruse the dollar section unless there are too many people in there. We blow through the clothing department. Skip past shoes, baby stuff, toys, electronics. Occasionally we hit up the DVD rack to see what is new and then head for seasonal to get candy then through the food and then checkout.

For weeks now I've been noticing this book on the shelf and the cover is just awesome and simple and has a vintage feel to it. I don't know why but this book has such a vintage feel to my the cover and I love it. I wanted to read it before it came out at the theatre and before the book had a movie tie in cover which I really hate.

The movie has been receiving a lot of criticism for the way that it portrays people who are wheelchair bound. The main character Lou starts working as a caregiver for Will who was paralyzed in a freak accident. 

The relationship starts out like so many with a period of adjustment that makes you realize how connected two people become in the caregiver patient relationship. It is an intimacy that develops  slowly for Will and Lou, starting first as awkward and full of disdain for each other and over time they become friends and start to develop a relationship that verges on more than friendship. Will would never let it go that far because he fears being a burden to anyone even his parents.

He wants to die. Prior to the accident he was athletic and adventurous and now confined to a wheel chair he doesn't have the coping skills to live his new life.

The real question is who does me refer to?

Lou wants him to see that there are many things that he is capable of doing with his life in a wheelchair. She thinks that it is truly selfish for him to want to end his life. She wants him live.

He wants her to think about him. Think about how he feels in this situation. To think about how over time he will get sicker and become more of a burden. That she will come to resent her comittment to him in time. 

But know in that the sequel is called After You.  So that blows that out of the water.

The book delves into the world of selfishness. The question is who is selfish in this situation. The person in a wheelchair or the person who wants to keep another person alive? A person who is so in love that they will do anything for the person they love?

30 Before 30...Great Expectations

Oh my goodness. This is one of those books that I've been reading since I was a freshman in high school. I think that we were supposed to read it during the Christmas break and I did my best to work on it but I just couldn't finish it.

This is one of those books that it starts to drag and there aren't any good action sequences to pick it up. There are some great characters that are classic.

Pip is a great character who you get to watch as they grow up. You see as he changes from a simple country boy to a man who realizes that there is more to life than money. He only realizes this after he comes into money, uses it irresponsibly, and then loses what little he had left. He loses the love of onr or two women.

I hate to spoil a book. I know that this is terrible review but it was a book that I struggled to read. I struggled the first time that I read it and on rereading this book I knew exactly how far I had gotten the first time. What I had read was a breeze on the second reading. I'm sure that if I did choose to read it again, it would be awesome.

The subtle love story was great and I love that for once the story doesn't end the way you think it would. I really only read it because I wanted to check it off my list and I wanted to finish it.

love ya!

Feeling a little worse for wear...

I really am feeling worse for wear right now. I'm just a little tired and no matter what I do it just seems to get worse and... I just feel like I'm hitting the wall and I hate that feeling. Why does it seem like when you need to be at your best you always feel like you're at your worst?

It makes it hard for me to function and there is a small chance that when I feel like this, I seem to be a terrible person who cannot for any reason see the positive in the situation. Of course when you can't see the positive it's hard to be a nice person.

It doesn't help that for some reason three of our dogs were missing for a couple of days and appear to have been penned up at someone else's house. It frustrates me to no end because there is nothing that I can do about it. Of course it wouldn't be such a problem but when you have a seriously abused rescue dog things like that are huge setbacks in how she deals with us. Of course at the same time she hasn't been as skittish as I thought she would be when she finally came home. She spent most of last night sleeping in my clean clothes but she's good.

love ya!

Five year plan...

I know that it sounds cliche but I have a five year plan that I'm starting to implement in 2016. I have goals and I want to make them happen and people are gonna have to deal with it.

I turned 30 this past summer and well it wasn't the best thing in the world nor was it the worst thing in the world. It was just another day. I got up like any other day, went to work and acted like it was no big deal. Then you think about all the things that have happened.

These are some of the things that have been on my mind with turning 30

I've had friendships that are in the 25 year range.

I've had a driver's license for 16 years.

I've been able to vote for 12 years.

I've been out of high school for 12 years.

I've been able to buy alcohol for 9 years.

I've had a college degree for 7 years.

I've been married for 5 years.

I've owned a house for 2 years.


But I don't feel like any of those things matter because I don't like where I am in my life and it's because of the decisions that I've made over and over again during these years. So this is the year that I make changes to make me feel good about where I am in my life.

Oh and don't worry, we're two months or so shy of 6 years


love ya!

New Year same old oopsy...

I apologize for the spam posts that show up occasionally.


I am still recovering from an email hack and I guess it means I need to figure out how to change the email post function to stop that from happening. So if you know how to eliminate that let me know. I know what it means. I need to just shut down that email account and stick with the gmail. It is probably for the best it just isn't something that I have planned to do.

That kinda transition hurts. I know it will because I will have to change how I work with several different things. It's been a long week and not sure how this month will play out. Doing inventory at work and it means that I'm constantly dusty and dirty and my poor hands have a skunky smell to them that I can't get rid of.

2016 is the year that I plan to get my stuff together. I say that every year but this year I'm really trying to make it happen. I've got to get on with working on my five year plan. Job and finances are the two biggest players in the five year plan. Major goal of the five year plan is to work on getting a master's degree. Which actually sent me into a bit of a tailspin in the summer. Not really ready to put those feelings into words but I'm gonna get there, part of this whole five year plan.

love ya!